Eating disorders are serious illnesses, not lifestyle choices.
Eating disorders are complex conditions that arise from a combination of long-standing behavioral, emotional, psychological, interpersonal, biological and social factors. As our natural body size and shape is largely determined by genetics, fighting our natural size and shape can lead to unhealthy dieting practices, poor body image and decreased self-esteem.
While eating disorders may begin with preoccupations with food and weight, they are about much more than food. Recent research has shown that genetic factors create vulnerabilities that place individuals at risk for acting on cultural pressures and messages and triggering behaviors such as dieting or obsessive exercise. - NEDA
There is a large community of eating disordered people who’ve convinced themselves that their disorder is actually a choice they’ve made. They embrace the torture of suffering from an ED, and encourage others to adopt this twisted perspective. The danger of this thought-process lies in the fact that many with EDs believe they are in control, much like an addict believes they are not addicted. The idea that an ED is a choice causes sufferers to be defensive of their “choice” and feel even more isolated when questioned by loved ones. The community of ED sufferers band together, and create tight-knit relationships, closing out the family and friends who seek to get them help.
It’s very hard to break the ties with “friends” who are suffering with you. They want to deny you help, because the basis of the relationship centers around the common disorder, and this may play a big part in your own desire for help if you do not want to have to end the friendship. These friends serve as a big cheerleading team for your efforts to restrict, or purge, too. Tips and tricks are exchanged; from ways to hide your disorder from nosy parents, to learning the easiest way to purge anything consumed.
If you’re a part of these communities, my advice is to stop visiting pro-ana sites, cut off communication with fellow ED sufferers, and find sites that are pro-recovery. There are a lot of wonderful, healthy people who have been through the same things, who can ease your fear of recovery.
If you’re a parent or friend who is trying to help a sufferer seek help my suggestion is to ask them if they participate in these communities. They may be real life friends, but are more likely online (sites like Livejournal, Xanga, Myspace and Facebook have large unmonitored “pro-ana” groups where people go for encouragement). If your friend or child is involved in these online groups, block the websites you know about, monitor their online activity, and talk to them about it. Talking about it is tough, but be honest.
“I know these sites make it harder to see the danger you’re putting yourself in.”
“I can see you’re learning bad habits on these sites, and so I am blocking them, not to isolate you, but to try to get you to a healthy place.”
Find pro-recovery sites, and join the forums. There are a lot of friends and parents who’ve dealt successfully with helping an ED sufferer recover, and they are there to guide you. I’ve listed some great sites devoted to recovery below.
My revelation during recovery happened when I realized that my ED was just like an addiction. It’s not something you can practice in any capacity and maintain health. There is no level of eating disorder that is healthy.
Recovery sites and forums
National Eating Disorders Association
Something Fishy - There is a fantastic section for helping loved ones. I highly recommend!
